I turn 34 years old today.
Here a few lessons I’ve built my life around that help me be more intentional every day and make the most of the time I have left…
1.
When you’re angry, don’t say that thing you really want to say.
There’s no such thing as winning an argument.
Only losing a friend.
2.
Don’t complain.
Offer a solution or shut the fuck up.
Case in point:
I got tired of seeing fake gurus peddling bullshit coaching courses or the only good ones costing thousands of dollars.
Instead of continuing to complain about it, I built a self-paced course to help people become world-class coaches.
So now I know there’s at least one awesome course out there to help people.
3.
Don’t rely on motivation.
It’s fleeting and unreliable.
Focus on building momentum instead.
4.
Focus less on reading a lot or reading quickly.
Focus more on reading deeply and applying it.
5.
Assume you’ll be lazy and unmotivated when the time comes to do the thing.
With that assumption in place, build an environment that guarantees you still do the thing.
- Build in accountability.
- Set the bar super low.
- Remove distractions.
- Make it convenient.
6.
Most people listen with the intent to respond.
They’re just waiting their turn to speak.
If you want to get ahead of 99% of them, flip it.
Listen with the intent to understand.
When people feel like you care, you’ve made a friend.
7.
Normal is overrated.
Be fucking weird.
8.
You are your greatest asset.
Invest accordingly.
9.
It’s easier to maintain good health than achieve it.
Stop waiting to “get healthy.”
Do it now.
10.
Your time, energy, and attention are finite.
Your energy and attention renew daily.
Your time doesn’t.
Once it’s gone, it’s gone.
Spend it on what matters.
11.
Build two things if you want true financial security:
- A network of incredible people
- A collection of powerful skills
If your bank account went to zero today.
You’d be able to rebuild just fine.
12.
Call your mom.
Call your dad.
Call your grandma.
Call your grandpa.
One day, you won’t be able to.
13.
If you can only learn one skill:
Learn how to hold a conversation and build rapport.
Relationships are fundamental to human connection:
Sales, coaching, therapy, teaching, parenting, dating, etc.
Everything comes down to making people feel safe and supported.
14.
Speak last.
It gives you more time to hear everyone else’s reasoning and choose your words carefully.
15.
Status games are for people too insecure to be themselves.
Don’t play them.
16.
Most people spend their entire lives jumping from one distraction to the next because they’re running from their toxic thoughts and insecurities.
Work on your relationship with yourself if you want peace.
17.
Freely give value to the world.
You won’t regret it.
18.
You don’t want to be rich and famous.
You want what they represent:
Freedom and influence.
19.
Don’t make your mental baggage someone else’s responsibility.
Own your shit.
Work on your shit.
Learn to let go of your shit.
Otherwise, everything in your life will go to shit.
20.
Use your mortality as a motivator to live fully.
21.
Stop wasting time trying to find the “perfect” plan.
It doesn’t exist.
Just start, then iterate.
You’ll figure it out.
Whatever “it” is.
22.
Fuck fear.
You have too much value to give to the world to let it stop you.
23.
Don’t try to be courageous.
Be compassionate.
Fear is selfish. It happens when we focus on ourselves.
When you focus on helping others, fear falls away.
To overcome Imposter Syndrome, ask:
“Who could this help?”
“What happens if I don’t help them?”
Then go fucking do it.
24.
Eat healthy.
But don’t demonize “unhealthy” foods.
Most people have a shame-centric relationship with food.
But even the healthiest eaters in the world are still going to die.
Eat the fucking pizza and cookies sometimes.
25.
Do something every day that:
- Humbles you
- Helps you see progress
- Makes you feel like a fucking rockstar
This balance keeps you satisfied and driven.
Bonus points if you find something that does all three at once.
26.
An epiphany to you is common sense to someone else.
Common sense to you is an epiphany to someone else.
Share what you know with others.
You never know who it’ll help.
27.
If you can grow a beard, do it.
If you can’t, don’t.
If you can grow your hair out, do it.
If you can’t, don’t.
Accept your body for what the fuck it is.
Aesthetics don’t define your self-worth.
28.
Writing is how you clarify your thoughts.
Writing is how you share your thoughts with others.
Writing is how you can build a lifestyle business and attract incredible opportunities.
The more you write, the more these three compound.
29.
Failure doesn’t exist.
Everything is data.
Treat life and business like a series of experiments and you can’t lose.
30.
Don’t tie your identity to your income or fancy titles.
When the number in your bank account or the title you hold dictates your self-worth, every decision you make will be rooted in fear of losing it.
This scarcity mindset will keep you from growing or enjoying what you’ve earned along the way.
It’s a sure path to misery.
31.
Where you’ve been doesn’t dictate where you’re going.
Tons of successful people have a fucked up past.
They just learned to evolve beyond it.
32.
Past behavior predicts future behavior.
This doesn’t contradict the last lesson.
If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting the results you’ve always gotten.
If you want different results, create different habits.
The same goes for other people:
If you want to understand people, pay more attention to their track record (past behaviors) than what they claim they want or will do.
33.
You’ll never feel ready.
Do it anyway.
34.
Stop waiting for someone else’s permission to do the thing.
The sooner you learn to give yourself permission, the sooner you’ll stop seeking everyone else’s approval and finally do the work you’re meant to do.
Wrap Up
Since I became an entrepreneur and content creator two years ago, my life has become what I used to daydream about.
These lessons helped me get to where I am today.
I hope you learned something.
Cheers to 34.
