{"id":234276,"date":"2023-07-09T16:04:01","date_gmt":"2023-07-09T20:04:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/?p=234276"},"modified":"2023-08-08T17:28:18","modified_gmt":"2023-08-08T21:28:18","slug":"the-art-of-tactical-vulnerability","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/the-art-of-tactical-vulnerability\/","title":{"rendered":"The Art of Tactical Vulnerability"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"bsf_rt_marker\"><\/div>\n<p>When was the last time you were vulnerable with your audience?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019m a 6\u2019, 265lbs, bearded, tattooed dude who does martial arts, loves Stoicism, and has an issue with authority.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Trust me, vulnerability isn\u2019t something that comes naturally to me.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Feeling vulnerable sucks, which is why most people avoid it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s easier to hide behind a facade of invulnerability\u2014pretending to be the perfect, pristine, polished authority in your niche.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>No flaws. No losses. No mistakes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Only wins. Only highlights. Only awesomeness 24\/7\/365.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>But time and time again, when I embrace my own vulnerability, 3 things happen:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>My connection with my audience gets stronger<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>My content becomes more unique<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>My message resonates deeper<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>But there\u2019s a right way and a wrong way to embrace your own vulnerability.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Do it wrong, and you push people away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Do it right, and you attract an audience of raving fans.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here are a few things I\u2019ve learned about the power of embracing what I call <em>tactical vulnerability<\/em>\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">\u2022\u2022\u2022<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Pulling at the Threads of Vulnerability<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>\u201cVulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.\u201d<\/p>\n<cite>\u2014 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=psN1DORYYV0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Dr. Bren\u00e9 Brown<\/a><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>I love Twitter. I love blogging. And I love YouTube.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But I, like most people, am tired of endless how-to lists, faux-thought leadership, and blatant copying of other people\u2019s work that\u2019s become all too common.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Everyone\u2019s spouting the same trite lessons, following the same formulaic formats, and wearing the same masks of absolutist expertise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>We\u2019re tired of the same content like:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li><em>&#8220;The Top 7 Leadership Books Every CEO Must Read&#8221;<\/em>\u2014when searching \u201cleadership books&#8221; on Amazon would\u2019ve pulled the same ones up.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>&#8220;5 Hidden Features of the New iPhone&#8221;<\/em>\u2014that are the most obvious features any digital native would figure out within 5 minutes of playing with it.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>&#8220;3 Study Habits to Crush Your Exams&#8221;<\/em>\u2014spoiler alert: schedule your study time, take breaks, and study with the intent to explain it to someone else. The same things anyone who\u2019s ever studied anything <em>ever<\/em> knows.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>&#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=6H5fvFAo_LE\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Ask This 1 Question to Conquer the Tyranny of the Urgent<\/a>&#8220;<\/em>\u2014ok, I\u2019m guilty of this one. But it\u2019s honestly a super helpful question to ask.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>It just seems like everyone\u2019s pretending to be someone they\u2019re not\u2014to appeal to other people pretending to be someone <em>they\u2019re<\/em> not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Where\u2019s the authenticity?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Where\u2019s the vulnerability?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Where\u2019s the unique human connection we all crave?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>This craving for connection, vulnerability, and authenticity seems to have fueled the mass influx of people joining Threads by Meta in its first few days of launch.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I tried to capture the unique vibe everyone was experiencing:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1600\" height=\"900\" src=\"https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/vulnerability-article.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-234277\" srcset=\"https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/vulnerability-article.png 1600w, https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/vulnerability-article-300x169.png 300w, https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/vulnerability-article-1024x576.png 1024w, https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/vulnerability-article-768x432.png 768w, https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/vulnerability-article-1536x864.png 1536w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1600px) 100vw, 1600px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>This isn\u2019t a plug for Threads.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Honestly, I\u2019m bullish on Twitter and bearish on Meta stuff\u2014I use Facebook and Instagram as a consumer, but my experience of using those platforms as a creator has been atrocious. After I got <em>actually<\/em> shadowbanned (meaning links to some of my articles couldn\u2019t be shared on Meta platforms), I stopped putting effort into growing my FB and IG accounts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But the sentiment Threads represents, the culture people are trying to create there because there are no preexisting social norms or \u201cbest practices\u201d yet gives it an energy no other platform has had in a very long time\u2014if ever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>It\u2019s like everyone collectively gave everyone else permission to embrace vulnerability and authenticity.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Which is fueling a feeling of genuine connection that\u2019s been sorely lacking in social media for years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There\u2019s no rule saying we can\u2019t transplant those same vibes back to Twitter, or anywhere else we want to go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>For too long, creators have fallen into the trap of creating predictable, sterile, formulaic content that could be easily outsourced to AI, a low-skill VA, or a chimp with a keyboard and internet access.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But an intellectual pajama party? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sharing your stories, your experiences, your authentic self\u2014all with the intent of building genuine connections, showcasing real thought leadership, and building a body of work that inspires others to reach their potential?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>That<\/em> can\u2019t be outsourced. It can\u2019t be copied. It can\u2019t be bought.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It can only be created, brick by brick, by people like you and me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So how do you actually <em>do<\/em> that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>By embracing vulnerability.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But not just <em>any kind<\/em> of vulnerability\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">\u2022\u2022\u2022<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Tactical Vulnerability 101<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Trauma-dumping on your audience or treating the internet like your personal high school diary isn\u2019t helpful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Vulnerability for vulnerability\u2019s sake just makes you an emotional liability for anyone who crosses your path\u2014and no one wants to sign up to be your emotional support animal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>No. If you want to build a strong relationship with your audience with content that resonates on a deep, existential level, the most powerful form of vulnerability I\u2019ve found is what I call <em>tactical vulnerability<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Tactical vulnerability is when you selectively share relevant pieces of yourself and your past with your audience for a specific reason.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If sharing a piece of yourself doesn\u2019t in some way benefit your audience\u2014by illustrating a point, validating their own experiences, or proving you\u2019ve been in their shoes before moving on to share your takeaways from your own experiences\u2014it\u2019s probably not tactical vulnerability.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Otherwise, it\u2019s just regular old now-everyone-feels-awkward-because-you-overshared vulnerability. If you do that, you will either push your audience away or attract a very specific kind of person (that, speaking from experience, you don\u2019t want to attract).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ok, so tactical vulnerability is the way to go, but why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here\u2019s what you need to understand\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">\u2022\u2022\u2022<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Why is Tactical Vulnerability So Powerful?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>\u201cTo create is to make something that has never existed before. There\u2019s nothing more vulnerable than that.\u201d<\/p>\n<cite>\u2014 Dr. Bren\u00e9 Brown<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>Tactical vulnerability is one way to do what psychologists call <em>building rapport.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Rapport, aka, your relationship with someone, is the primary factor in whether therapy or coaching (or virtually any other type of collaboration) will work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Think about it\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In a therapy or coaching scenario, you need a sense of psychological safety (aka, you have to trust the person in front of you) to open up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>If there\u2019s no rapport, there\u2019s no vulnerability.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If there\u2019s no vulnerability, there\u2019s no honest, authentic, deep discussions that can occur\u2014which means you won\u2019t get huge results.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is why building rapport is one of the <a href=\"https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/the-3-pillars-of-world-class-coaching\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">3 pillars of world-class coaching<\/a> (and something I\u2019ve spent 15+ years learning how to do well).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because in order for someone to open up and engage deeply, they have to trust the person in front of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>So how does this apply to your content?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you want your audience to trust you, to <a href=\"https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/4-psychological-razors-to-create-content-your-audience-loves\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">\u201cremark\u201d upon your content<\/a>, and feel a genuine connection that\u2019s damn-near impossible to break\u2014practice tactical vulnerability to build rapport.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When I talk about growing up poor, living through domestic violence, or getting fired, I\u2019m not doing it to have people feel sorry for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019m doing it to show I know what it\u2019s like to face adversity and limiting beliefs, so people can feel connected to me and trust that I know what I\u2019m talking about when I share some of the strategies that\u2019ve helped me overcome my situations and become a creator and entrepreneur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My course, <a href=\"https:\/\/creatoralchemy.coreywilkspsyd.com\/intentional-life-design-course\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Build an Intentional Life<\/a>, is based on the best strategies I use with 1:1 clients and have used to help dozens of other creators clarify how to build a fulfilling life and thriving business aligned with their values. Yes, people say they trusted the course would be good because I\u2019m a psychologist. But the parts of the course they remember, the parts that truly resonated with them and inspired them to take action in their own lives are when I was tactically vulnerable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because when I talk about my own experiences struggling with limiting beliefs, hard lessons learned of how to overcome them, and share stories of the consequences of living a life in mediocrity and unaligned with your values\u2014these are stories and experiences unique to me that people connect with, because these struggles are synonymous with being human.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So by sharing your human-ness with people, you\u2019ll connect with them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Because we connect over adversity, over our shared imperfections, and over our vulnerabilities as humans.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Tactical vulnerability also allows you to create content only you can create.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>No one else could\u2019ve written \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/voices-of-the-mountains\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Voices of the Mountains<\/a>,\u201d because it\u2019s my story\u2014even the thumbnail image is unique because I took it walking around the very holler I talk about in the article. But anyone whose ever felt pressured to hide their accent or culture to succeed immediately resonates with my story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Back before I\u2019d decided to focus on helping creators reach their potential, I still wrote about mental health stuff. <a href=\"https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/what-to-do-when-you-feel-like-a-victim\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">This article<\/a> about my own experiences living through domestic violence was hard af to write, but I\u2019ve heard from several people it was such an emotionally moving piece, they cried reading it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>AI can\u2019t make you cry. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Formulaic content can\u2019t resonate with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Threadbois can\u2019t connect with you on an existential level. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>If you pretend to be perfect, no one will connect with you\u2014because imperfect people can\u2019t connect with perfection.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And we\u2019re all imperfect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But if you <em>tactically <\/em>share your imperfections?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You\u2019ll form the deepest connection with your audience imaginable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And through this connection, you, and your audience can move fucking mountains.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">\u2022\u2022\u2022<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Final Thoughts<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>\u201cVulnerability is not weakness\u2026vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage\u2014to be vulnerable, to let ourselves be seen, to be honest.\u201d<\/p>\n<cite>\u2014 Dr. Bren\u00e9 Brown<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>Tactical vulnerability opens the doors to authenticity, connection, and self-expression.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It allows us to share the things that make us truly unique and form a connection with our audience that can\u2019t be broken.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>No AI, no threadboi, no visual essay template, no <em>thing<\/em> can compete with that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So I\u2019m done trying to put on airs, to write to an algorithm, or create content I\u2019m \u201csupposed\u201d to create.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019m just going to be me. Share my stories. My experiences. My ideas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019m going to embrace my own tactical vulnerability and authenticity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And I hope you\u2019ll join me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because the world doesn\u2019t need more posturing or formulaic bullshit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It needs more people embracing who they are, sharing what they believe, and giving others permission to do the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It feels scary at first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But we\u2019re not here to play it safe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>We\u2019re here to create something powerful.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Something only we can create.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And through embracing our own vulnerability and authenticity, we inspire and empower others to do the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s how we can collectively reach our potential.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-text-color has-background has-black-background-color has-black-color is-style-wide\"\/>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Want to deeply resonate with your audience and create unique content? Here&#8217;s what you need to know about the art of tactical vulnerability&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":234304,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","ub_ctt_via":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"disabled","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,57],"tags":[],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/tactical-vulnerability.png","author_info":{"display_name":"Corey","author_link":"https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/author\/corey\/"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/tactical-vulnerability.png",1280,720,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/tactical-vulnerability-150x150.png",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/tactical-vulnerability-300x169.png",300,169,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/tactical-vulnerability-768x432.png",768,432,true],"large":["https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/tactical-vulnerability-1024x576.png",1024,576,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/tactical-vulnerability.png",1280,720,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/tactical-vulnerability.png",1280,720,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Corey","author_link":"https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/author\/corey\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Want to deeply resonate with your audience and create unique content? Here's what you need to know about the art of tactical vulnerability...","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/234276"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=234276"}],"version-history":[{"count":30,"href":"https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/234276\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":235158,"href":"https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/234276\/revisions\/235158"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/234304"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=234276"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=234276"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=234276"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}