{"id":231544,"date":"2021-10-21T17:35:28","date_gmt":"2021-10-21T21:35:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/?p=231544"},"modified":"2023-07-29T14:33:43","modified_gmt":"2023-07-29T18:33:43","slug":"helping-ali-abdaal-overcome-8-challenges-to-creating-a-fulfilling-life-and-business","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/coreywilkspsyd.com\/helping-ali-abdaal-overcome-8-challenges-to-creating-a-fulfilling-life-and-business\/","title":{"rendered":"Helping Ali Abdaal Overcome 8 Challenges to Creating a Fulfilling Life and Business"},"content":{"rendered":"
Ali Abdaal, YouTuber extraordinaire with over 2 million subscribers and creator of the Part-Time YouTuber Academy that\u2019s made over $2 million in revenue in the last year, just released a 44-minute video<\/a> where he goes through an extensive life and business update.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It revolves around his search for what direction to take his life and business next to fulfill him and bring value to his audience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ali is one of the most caring, genuine, and benevolent people I\u2019ve seen online. So I\u2019m writing this to help him (and you) as much as possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My bread and butter is helping founders, creators, and entrepreneurs flourish by aligning their life and business with their Core Value.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So instead of replying to the video with a quick comment, this article is a response to Ali’s struggles. It’s a play-by-play of how I would help Ali if he was my coaching client with each of the eight challenges he covers in his video.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In actual coaching<\/a>, I’d go more in-depth, depending on his answers. But this will give you an idea of where I’d start and how I’d approach his current struggles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Read on for a peek behind the curtain of how I help innovators build meaningful, purpose-driven businesses that fulfill them using my 15 years of psychological training in human optimization and meaning-making.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Each section starts with a timestamp from his video, if you want more context.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Also, here’s a handy dandy Table of Contents if you want to bounce around:<\/p>\n\n\n\t\t\t\t \u2022\u2022\u2022<\/p>\n\n\n\n Timestamp<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n As his business has grown from a solo side project to a full-time, 20-person team, there’s more pressure for him to be intentional with the direction of the business.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He\u2019s struggling with questions like:<\/p>\n\n\n\n The first thing I help clients do is to clarify their Core Value<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Not multiple values or eight company principles\u2014one value.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because your Core Value is what makes you tick on a fundamental level. It\u2019s the driving force that propels you to intuitively know what fulfillment looks like.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When you haven\u2019t clarified your Core Value, the future is hazy. Fulfillment becomes a moving target. And when you create goals that aren\u2019t rooted in your Core Value, you\u2019ll either half-ass them, give up, or even if you do achieve them, victory will feel hollow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because those goals don\u2019t resonate with you. They\u2019re not rooted in your Core Value.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Every goal you create has the potential to get you one step closer to, or one step further away from, your ideal life of fulfillment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Once you identify your Core Value, you can create goals rooted in that value.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n That way, every goal aligns with what makes you tick on a fundamental level and keeps you focused in the direction of fulfillment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Some of the most common core values of my clients include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n For example, my Core Value is freedom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So if someone offered my $100k to work 60 hours a week in a high-stress environment, where I’d have to speak and dress a certain way\u2014I wouldn’t take it. I’ve had this happen. I value my freedom\u2014specifically the freedom to control my schedule, explore my creativity, and help others pursue fulfillment\u2014to free<\/em> them from the cycle of unfulfilling work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So anytime a new opportunity comes my way, I ask myself:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDoes this align with my Core Value of freedom and get me one step closer to my ideal life?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n If not, I pass. If so, I explore it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ali says he\u2019s interested in what makes a happy and fulfilling life, and wants to help people live their best life by creating education and inspirational content.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here\u2019s what I\u2019d ask him:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Why do you ultimately care about helping people live their best life? What about this resonates with you on a fundamental level?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Don\u2019t over-intellectualize it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ask yourself two questions:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat do I give a shit about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy do I give a shit about it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n You can journal your answers or talk it out with someone\u2014but the point is to keep it conversational and intuitive. Don\u2019t overcomplicate by intellectualizing or over-editing your answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Answer from your gut, not your head.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n For example: I give a shit about helping people flourish because I believe too many people die<\/a> regretting not having done more with their lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I had multiple friends put off pursuing fulfilling until it was too late. Each of them let fear paralyze them. One spent decades as an attorney before retiring early to write a book. Halfway through writing it, he was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Two weeks later, he died with his manuscript forever incomplete.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So I write online and coach to help as many people as I can pursue fulfillment while I have time left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What do you give a shit about, and why do you give a shit about it?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n This is what you\u2019re working toward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is what you steer your medium and long-term planning toward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Take what you give a shit about and do as much as you can to make an impact in that area.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This is how you achieve fulfillment and help others along the way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2022\u2022\u2022<\/p>\n\n\n\n Timestamp<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n Throughout medical school and his career as a physician, Ali was on a \u201cvery clear ladder of progression.\u201d He got used to always chasing the \u201cnext thing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Since taking a break from medicine and building his business, this compulsion to chase the next thing has muddied his ability to know what he actually wants to be pursuing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He says:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, we\u2019ll just aim for more views, and more subscribers, and more revenue, and more courses, and just more more more. And I just haven\u2019t really stopped to think, like what do I actually want to do now that I have the freedom, broadly to design my life how I want within reason. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s a nice problem to have, but it is a bit of a challenge because when you have so many options, it\u2019s hard to know which one to go for. And it\u2019s hard to even know what all the options are. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I think back when I was working in medicine and it was like a very confined career path… Whereas now it\u2019s like, I don\u2019t really know if I still want to be a doctor forever, I don\u2019t know if I want to do this YouTube thing forever, like what the hell do I want to do? I don\u2019t know. Like there\u2019s a whole world of options.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Ali’s describing two separate issues: being trapped on the Hedonic Treadmill and choice paralysis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here\u2019s the approach I\u2019d take for each:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n To jump off the Hedonic Treadmill of more, more, more<\/em>, it goes back to clarifying what makes you tick on a fundamental level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Most people have heard of the Hedonic Treadmill or hedonia<\/em>\u2014pleasure-seeking and constantly chasing cheap hits of dopamine and vanity metrics. But this is a temporary fix to a long-term problem. What you’re chasing isn’t fulfilling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eudaimonia<\/em><\/a> is the opposite\u2014it\u2019s what Maslow called self-actualization or fulfillment. It may not always feel good in the moment (like hedonism), but it\u2019s meaningful, purpose-driven work that fulfills us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here\u2019s an example:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Justin \u201cThe Pygmy\u201d Wren is an MMA veteran who digs wells for the Pygmy population in the Congo. Justin has contracted malaria multiple times in his pursuit to give more people in the Congo access to clean drinking water and help them buy back their land and freedom from their oppressors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you asked Justin during one of the times he\u2019s contracted malaria if he feels good, he\u2019d say hell no. But if you asked him if the work he did was worth it in the long run, he\u2019d say hell yes. The struggle that comes with digging wells is worth it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He isn’t chasing pleasure; he’s pursuing something worth struggling for.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n In this TEDx Talk<\/a>, Justin ends it by asking the audience, \u201cWhat would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?\u201d Answering this question can give you a starting point to figure out what eudaimonia<\/em> looks like for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eudaimonia<\/em> is about doing things that, even if they don\u2019t always make you happy in the moment, give your life direction, purpose, and meaning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Despite individual moments not always being \u201cfun\u201d on a surface level, the journey, the pursuit of what makes you come alive\u2014that is what eudaimonia<\/em> looks like.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So the question is:<\/p>\n\n\n\n What are you willing to struggle for?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Understanding your Core Value and what eudaimonia<\/em> looks like for you will simplify your choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Most opportunities are distractions from your ideal life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The simplest way to filter which choices are worth exploring and which aren\u2019t is to consider the second and third-order effects of each.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Some opportunities give you short-term improvement, but lead to long-term issues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So ask yourself:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Where does this choice ultimately lead\u2014closer to or further away from my ideal life aligned with my Core Value?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Just because you can<\/em> do something doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s worth<\/em> your time and energy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ali also talks about finite vs. infinite games.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A finite game has an end goal, while infinite games are ongoing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He asks himself:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat is the thing I would be happy to do forever. If I didn\u2019t care about money, what would I spend my time doing?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n He answers by saying he cares about reading, writing, learning new things, and teaching. He especially<\/em> loves teaching (this likely taps into his Core Value).<\/p>\n\n\n\n But he says if he didn’t have to worry about money, he probably wouldn’t make courses because he doesn’t like charging for them (this also hints at a Core Value).<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here\u2019s how I would approach it:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n There\u2019s an inherent conflict here. You love teaching but hate creating courses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The underlying question is:<\/p>\n\n\n\n What, specifically, do you hate about charging for courses?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Are you concerned people can\u2019t afford it? You already offer scholarships for PTYA.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Are you concerned your courses aren\u2019t valuable? Unlikely, although Imposter Syndrome may be kicking in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Do you just hate having to add a price tag to knowledge in general?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because when we pay for something, we become more invested in it\u2014we now have skin in the game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So if one of your goals with content is to keep people invested; charging for it may achieve that end. You already offer scholarships, put out most of your content for free, and offer money-back guarantees. So you\u2019ve all but removed price as a barrier to your content.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So what\u2019s the underlying issue?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Have you created a false dichotomy? Either I create expensive courses, or I help people pursue happiness and fulfillment?<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019d dig into this issue and figure out the root of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the last section of this challenge, Ali describes his \u201cideal ordinary week.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n He says if he could design his ideal week, he\u2019d go to the gym and play sports a few times a week, play board games and cook at least once a week, spend more time with friends, and take time to do deep work each day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But he hasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He asks himself:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy don\u2019t I just do that? What is actually stopping me from making that my schedule? And the answer is always, \u2018I don\u2019t know.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Here\u2019s my take:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n You think you have time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The number one strategy to light a fire under your ass is applying the Stoic concept of memento mori<\/em>\u2014remember you will die.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It’s not meant to be depressing; it’s meant to clarify what truly matters and filter out the rest by using your mortality as a motivator to live fully.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here\u2019s what I mean:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Earlier this year, I almost died.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n A simple bruise had become infected, and by the time we caught it, I had to be hospitalized and prepped for surgery. It wasn’t responding to other treatments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The physicians told me if the infection had gotten into my bones or bloodstream, it could kill me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When you\u2019re young, you don\u2019t think that any week could be your last alive.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n That night, as I laid in a hospital bed alone, with only the beeping of machines and occasional nurse checking my vitals as company, still waiting on test results to know if the infection had become life-threatening, I asked myself:<\/p>\n\n\n\n If this has been my last week alive, am I satisfied with how I lived each day?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n This question is different from the typical \u201cWhat would you do if you had seven days to live.\u201d You can plan that out, party, skydive, whatever. It\u2019s not a helpful thought experiment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Taking inventory of how you\u2019ve already<\/em> spent your last seven days, going about your normal day-to-day routine, is way more powerful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Immediately, you identify all the bullshit you do out of obligation that doesn\u2019t matter. All the things you worried about that aren\u2019t important. Everything you wish you would\u2019ve done but were too afraid to try<\/a>. All the things you put off because you thought you\u2019d have more time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Time is our most precious resource.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Because one day, you\u2019ll look back and realize the past week was your last alive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So with that in mind:<\/p>\n\n\n\n If this was your last week alive, how satisfied are you with how you spent your time?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n What regrets do you have?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Hopefully, this week hasn’t been your last. But one day, it will.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What changes are you willing to make so that when the day comes when you’ve lived your last week, you’ll look back with joy and contentment?<\/p>\n\n\nChallenge #1: Medium to Long Term Planning<\/h1>\n\n\n\n
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Challenge #2: What Do I Want From My Life?<\/h1>\n\n\n\n
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Hedonic Treadmill<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Choice Paralysis<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Infinite Games<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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Your Ideal Week<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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