Everyone claims their program is transformational, but how do the people who actually took the program describe it? I’ve spent tens of thousands of dollars on dozens of programs and made 10X that running my own programs.
Here are the 5 biggest mistakes I see everyone make, that come down to human psychology…
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Mistake #1: Make It About You
You know what’s fun about being held hostage by a narcissist? Nothing.
It’s fun to feel like a rockstar—to be up on stage performing for a roaring crowd captivated by your every word and movement. It’s fun to wax poetic about all the things you think are awesome and “pull back the curtain” on how you think about every little thing in your world.
It’s fun for you, but it’s miserable for the people who paid good money for a transformation your endless narcissistic pontificating is keeping them from.
Unless you’re a celebrity influencer, no one gives a single shit about you. They care about themselves and achieving their own goals. Your job is to facilitate this.
How to Fix It:
There’s nothing wrong with sharing your experiences or insights as long as they directly help your students.
Before you talk about yourself, ask, “How does this directly help my students get closer to achieving their goals?” If you can’t answer that question, don’t go down that rabbit hole.
Focus on relevant examples, stories, and insights that directly help your students get closer to their transformation.
Insight from The Alchemy of Fear Program:
In the last cohort of The Alchemy of Fear program, I shared how I grew up super poor—like food stamps and public housing poor—and how my identity as a “poor kid” actually caused a fear of success throughout my early adulthood.
“How does this directly help my students get closer to achieving their goals?” Because it helped them feel seen (many shared they also had a deeply-rooted fear of success) and understand how our identities can hold us back from reaching our potential.
My story wasn’t about me. It was about them.
Check out “The Poor Kid Who Was Afraid of Success,” if you’re interested in the story.
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Mistake #2: Plan Out Every Second of Every Session
I’ve literally been in cohort-based courses where the founder planned out every word, every laugh or movement, and every second of every session—and got upset when they were 2-3 seconds behind schedule.
It makes sense at first—people paid good money for quality programming, so you feel pressured to jam pack every second. But this is a huge mistake.
Because this means there’s no room for spontaneity, no room for questions, no room for nuanced discussions which is what people actually paid for. Otherwise, you could’ve just written a book or make a self-paced course they could take on their own.
How to Fix It:
True transformation happens when someone has an “aha” moment. You can’t engineer these. They happen during conversations and when people have time for their minds to expand, to wander, to contemplate without the pressure to move onto the next planned thing.
The greatest thinkers in the world carve out time for deep contemplation, long walks, and spontaneous conversation for a reason—because these are when true breakthroughs happen.
Leave time for spontaneity. Give people space to think. You can’t plan a breakthrough, but you can plan space to have a breakthrough.
Insight from The Alchemy of Fear Program:
I have a general outline for every session and slides to stay relatively on track. Each live session is scheduled for two hours (60-90 minutes of core work, then 30+ minutes of Q&A). But some sessions have gone over three hours because the conversations we were having were incredible.
Because there wasn’t a pressure to move on to the next scripted beat or exercise, people had room to make real breakthroughs that couldn’t have been engineered.
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Mistake #3: Spend The Majority of Every Session Talking
The first two mistakes (making it about you and trying to plan out every session) fuel this mistake. You put so much time into planning everything and think people give a shit about what you have to say, that you think you’re supposed to be the one talking the entire time.
No one paid to attend a lecture. They paid for transformation.
Yet so many people (course creators, educators, whatever you want to call them) spend 90+% of every live session talking. Telling their story, explaining the problem and why it’s worth solving, explaining their epiphanies, sharing how great their life is now that they’ve figured out the solution, talking about all the mental models and exercises that’ve helped them, etc.
No one paid to attend a lecture. They paid for transformation.
Yet here they are, attending a lecture…
How to Fix It:
Start with a simple question:
“What is the minimum viable amount of information my students need to understand to move forward?”
Give them this information, then shut the hell up.
Focus on finding prompts and exercises for them to do, not information for them to remember.
If you think you’re talking too little, you’re still probably talking too much.
Insight from The Alchemy of Fear Program:
Years ago, I ran out of time and had to start a session before I was prepared. I only had like three slides done, which only covered the first five minutes of the session. So I improvised and sent everyone to breakout rooms for 15 minutes while I white-knuckled my way through making a few more slides before the rooms closed. All I had enough time to do was introduce a quick concept, give them a prompt, then send them to another breakout.
At the end of the session, I thought it was a total disaster because I had so much more planned to talk about—but everyone raved about how interactive it was, which made it different than every other program they’d taken.
Ever since that day, I design every live session like this. For a two hours session, I have maybe 15 minutes worth of talking points prepared. The rest of the time is full of prompts, exercises, and group discussions.
This keeps everyone focused on taking action over taking notes.
They’d paid for a transformation, so I actively avoid lecturing.
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Mistake #4: Over-Index On The “State Change Method”
Popular advice says to constantly change the “state” of your teaching every few minutes to keep people engaged, meaning you need to drop a question in the chat, then share a story, then throw people into breakout rooms, then have them jump on one leg while patting their head, then tell them to drop an emoji in the chat, then…
It’s exhausting and overwhelming for everyone involved.
But more importantly, people like to be able to anticipate what’s going to happen next.
How to Fix It:
Pick a standard(ish) format that leaves space to sit with concepts, then stick to it so your students can anticipate what’s going to happen next. They’ll thank you because they’ll be able to focus on engaging instead of feeling exhausted and anxious trying to keep up with constant state changes.
Insight from The Alchemy of Fear Program:
The format I’ve developed is super simple, but effective.
Every session follows the same general format:
- Quick check-in (1 minute)
- Introduce concept (5-10 minutes)
- Solo writing prompt (5 minutes)
- Breakout groups (15 minutes)
Then we repeat this cycle, which takes us to about the hour mark. Then we go into a large group discussion and Q&A for the rest of the time.
The solo writing prompts help them gather their thoughts before they go into breakouts to refine them and get/give feedback. Students say they look forward to this format because it helps them collect themselves and figure out how they think about something before sharing it—otherwise, they’d feel overwhelmed or freeze from anxiety because they felt unprepared before being thrown into a group discussion, which they commonly dealt with in other programs.
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Mistake #5: Make It A Thinly Veiled Sales Pitch
You know how modern video games always feel incomplete? Back in the day when you bought a video game, you expected it to be finished. Then, if a DLC or expansion came out, it felt like bonus content to an already complete game. Nowadays, when you buy a video game, it feels incomplete. So buying DLC just feels like you’re paying extra for what should’ve been in the base game.
Too many people running live programs follow this playbook…
We’ve all been in those kinds of programs, where they teach you just enough to upsell you at the end. This follow up offer doesn’t feel like a genuine bonus on top of an already complete program, it feels like you’re being asked to pay extra for what should’ve been in the original program.
How to Fix It:
Your program should be a bridge that helps someone cross the gap between where they currently are to where they want to be (or who they want to become). Map out each vital step your ideal student needs to take to cross that gap, then develop a complete program that helps them build each of those steps. Don’t leave vital pieces out just to upsell them.
Insight from The Alchemy of Fear Program:
I actually offered to run a follow-up group for accountability for the first cohort, and you know what? No one signed up! Alumni I talked to said they got everything they needed from the cohort, so they didn’t need anything extra, which is fantastic to hear. I’ll probably offer a different form of ongoing support in the future if there’s interest, but for now it seems like the cohort itself feels complete for people.
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Final Thoughts
Here’s the thing, you probably read this because you’re either already running a program or want to in the future. I’m not going to pitch you a program on building programs. Hopefully you’ll walk away with a few insights to improve your business.
But I do want to encourage you to check out The Alchemy of Fear. The concepts in the course have helped thousands of high-achievers and deep thinkers all over the world including entrepreneurs, founders, executives, YouTubers, podcast, coaches, and so many others reach their potential.
It’s designed to help you answer one question: What could you achieve if fear wasn’t holding you back?
So if you feel like you’re capable of more…
If you feel like something’s standing in your way and you can’t quit figure out what…
If you’ve taken all the courses, read all the books, hired all the therapists and coaches and still feel stuck…
Fear is probably the culprit—fear of failure, fear of ridicule, fear of uncertainty, or even fear of success.
This program is designed to help you finally transform your relationship with fear, realign with what matters most, and take bold action to reach your potential.
Check out details on the upcoming cohort for The Alchemy of Fear and discover why alumni rave about it.
